


Hate Feeling Like This

by ELIE0304



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Boys Love - Freeform, Fanfiction, Kurosaki Ranmaru x Mikaze Ai, M/M, RanRanxAiAi, RanxAi, Rare Pair, Romance, song-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9395249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ELIE0304/pseuds/ELIE0304
Summary: Hidden Feelings, Confused FeelingsAnd in just one night these feelings are all let out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Finally found the time to get this book out. I've had this idea since forever but have no time to do something about it.
> 
> Ranmaru is my bias in UtaPri and Ai is my second bias which led to me shipping them. I know they're a rare pair but I still love them and coz there's so little RanAi fanfics out there so I'm gonna start my revolution.. XD just kidding.

A tentative knock reached Ranmaru's ears as he was strumming his guitar. It was too soft and Ranmaru thought that it was just his imagination until another knock followed.

He looks at the clock on the table and saw that it is already past 9 in the evening. Wondering who would be knocking in his room at this time he puts down his guitar on the sofa and stood up to open the door.

Only to be shock to see the youngest member of quartet night standing on his doorstep in his hoodie with his hair down and free from its usual everyday style.

"What's the matter?" He asked with a gruff voice. It is surprising for him to see Ai at this time of the night in front of his room.

Ai looks down on the floor for a bit then looks up at Ranmaru with his face void of emotion. "Can I sleep here for tonight?"

Ranmaru's eyes widen in shock at the sudden request. "Huh?"

He was more shock though at the blush that graced Ai's cheeks before the cyan haired man explained his situation. "Natsuki & Syo are... they are..."

Wow. Ranmaru never thought that the day will come where he will see Ai lost for words while blushing. He didnt even know that Ai is capable of emotions. But when the silver haired rocker heard the name Natsuki & Syo he remembered that those two are in a relationship which will mean....

Ranmaru groaned. His poor bandmate. He needs to chastised those two. Although Ai is their senpai he's still younger than them. He ruffled his hair in annoyance at the two.

"Why not stay with Reiji or Camus?" He asked. It's not like he does not want Ai in the room. But its because he has a secret he wanted to keep away from the others. Especially Ai.

"Reiji is noisy and I feel unsettled with Camus' room and I know Ren and Masato aren't here and will be back tomorrow." Ai explained and trailed off as Ranmaru sighed. "Point taken, Come in."

They closed the door and Ai settled himself on the lower bunk as RanRan went back to the sofa to pick up his bass guitar.

Ai noticed the sheets on the table and he looks at the silver haired rocker. "Is that work?" He asked curiously. Ai can't explain it himself but he had always been curious with the rocker ever since they became a group.

"No. Just passing the time." Ranmaru explained and walk towards his bass stand to put it down. "You can continue." He was startled when Ai spoke and he looks questioningly towards the younger male.

"Don't let me stop you. Who knows it will be good for our next album." Ai explained stoically.

"Your call. Don't complain if it gets noisy." Ranmaru picks up his bass again and went back to sit on the couch continuing where he left off.

"It's not noisy. I love hearing the sound of your bass guitar than Reiji's maracas." Ai stood up and sat on the couch beside Ranmaru. The silver haired rocker raised an eyebrow at the cyan haired man but never commented on what was said aside from the smirl that graced his lips.

But deep inside his heart is doing summersaults. He hopes the younger man does not hear it, what with him sitting close.

The two were envelope with the deep barritone sounds produced by the bass and the scratching of pencil on paper whenever Ranmaru will pause to write down on the music sheet.

Ai listens and watches carefully. He never knew Ranmaru is into composing songs since they have Haruka for that. Oh well its an information worth stocking in his data.

Ranmaru stopped plucking the strings and Ai was amazed. The song is complete.

"Can you play it again?" Ai asked and without even saying something Ranmaru starts plucking the chords from the beginning.

Ai closes his eyes listening as the music flows. He opened them in shock though when a deep voice joined the music. And as if by instinct a small smile made its way onto his face as he listens to the silver haired rocker sing.

_I hate feeling like this_  
_I'm so tired of trying to fight this_  
_I'm asleep and all I dream of_

_Is waking to you_  
_Tell me that you will listen_  
_Your touch is what I'm missing_  
_And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you_

_Comatose_  
_I'll never wake up without an overdose of  you_

_[Chorus:]_  
_I don't wanna live_  
_I don't wanna breathe_  
_'les I feel you next to me_  
_you take the pain I feel_  
_waking up to you never felt so real_  
_I don't wanna sleep_  
_I don't wanna dream_  
_'cause my dreams don't comfort me_  
_The way you make me feel_  
_Waking up to you never felt so real_

_I hate living without you_  
_Dead wrong to ever doubt you_  
_But my demons lay in waiting_  
_Tempting me away_  
_Oh how I adore you_  
_Oh how I thirst for you_  
_Oh how I need you_

_Comatose_  
_I'll never wake up without an overdose of you_

_[Chorus]_  
__I don't wanna live_ _  
__I don't wanna breathe_ _  
__'les I feel you next to me_ _  
__you take the pain I feel_ _  
__waking up to you never felt so real_ _  
__I don't wanna sleep_ _  
__I don't wanna dream_ _  
__'cause my dreams don't comfort me_ _  
__The way you make me feel_ _  
__Waking up to you never felt so real_ _

_Breathing life_  
_Waking up_  
_My eyes open up_

_Comatose_  
_I’ll never wake up without an overdose of you_

_[Chorus]_  
__I don't wanna live_ _  
__I don't wanna breathe_ _  
__'les I feel you next to me_ _  
__you take the pain I feel_ _  
__waking up to you never felt so real_ _  
__I don't wanna sleep_ _  
__I don't wanna dream_ _  
__'cause my dreams don't comfort me_ _  
__The way you make me feel_ _  
__Waking up to you never felt so real_ _

_Oh how I adore you_  
_Waking up to you never felt so real_  
_Oh how I thirst for you_  
_Waking up to you never felt so real_  
_Oh how I adore you, ohhhh_  
_The way you make me feel_  
_Waking up to you never felt so real_

When the music ended they were envelope in silence. Ai was a little unsure if he should say his thoughts but then its better than not saying anything.

"It's beautiful." He says simply and was surprised when the rocker blushed and uttered a small "Thanks."

They were silent again and it was Ranmaru who broke it. "It's getting late we should sleep."

"Can you teach me?"

"Huh?" The rocker asked wondering if he heard it right.

"The bass. Can you teach me how to play it?" Ai asked again his face still void of emotion but for some reason Ranmaru can see the spark of interest in his cyan colored eyes making him nod his head in acquise.

"Alright. If you want to. Here." He puts the bass on the others lap and grabs Ai's left hand then wound his right arm around the small shoulders of his bandmate to position the other hand on the strings.

Ranmaru can feel his heart beating so loud inside his chest. He knows this is a dangerous position. With how their faces are side by side a wrong turn of the head can collide their lips.

Oh how much Ranmaru yearned to taste those soft lips. But he needed to get his head out of the gutter lest he do something that will make the other uncomfortable.

"You can try simple chords. Like this." Ranmaru showed basic chords for Ai to try and he was impressed when Ai asked for more guitar chords to learn.

For a moment Ranmaru had forgotten his earlier nervousness and was just enjoying teaching the youngest member of QN. He had always imagined being close like this with Ai but he knows its impossible to happen.

For Ranmaru it was love at first sight though he will never admit it out loud. He was in denial at first but then his denial grew into fondness so here he is madly in love with Ai even knowing that he have no chance with the other.

"That's good." He complimented and looks at Ai who is concentrated with what he's doing.

Ranmaru stared on. Taking note of how long Ai's eyelashes are and the way his hair frames his small face. His cheeks looking so soft and smooth and so white that Ranmaru wants to graze his fingers on it.

He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn't realize Ai turning his head looking at him also making their faces just centimeters apart.

"What's the matter Ranmaru?" Ai asked looking straight at mismatched colored eyes. Immediately Ranmaru's eyes divereted to Ai's lips.

A taste wouldn't hurt right?

"Ranmaru?"

Without further thinking about anything Ranmaru bridged the small gap between him and Ai. Tasting those lips that had been haunting him since forever. It was like he imagined and more.

Ai's eyes widens when lips collided with his. All of sudden it feels like he had shut down but he's still awake. His senses are suddenly hyperwire and everything around them seems to stop. Ai does not know what to do so he opted to wait.

The kiss happened for seconds but Ranmaru felt like it was forever. When he pulled back though that's when the magical moment ended and dread came to the silver haired rocker.

' _The fuck did I do?!!'_ He thought frantically. _'I ruined it.'_

He pushed the younger man away lightly and avoided Ai's piercing gaze.  
"I'm sorry. I... I wasn't thinking... I shouldn't have done that.. sorry..."

"Ranmaru...." Ai whispered.

"I'll just go... outside.." Ranmaru stood up to go but Ai stopped him by grabbing onto his wrist.

"Wait. Ranmaru--"

"I shouldn't have done that. It's... it's not supposed to happen." Ranmaru stated stoically with his back facing the other. His deep voice reverberating inside Ai and the cyan haired can hear something inside him breaks. His chest becomes constricted and he felt like he can't breath at all.

Ai remembers something Reiji once told him when he became confused with his feelings. Reiji explained it was love.

And this feeling right now.

Maybe this is what they call heartbreak.

Ai doesn't like that at all.

He needs to do something.

"Don't..." for some reason he does not know what to say. People had always said that he was so blunt and straight to the point but where is that bluntness now?

"Don't go." He managed to say for the second time around.

Ranmaru's eyes widens when he heard those words, slowly he turns around and looks down at his bandmate and was shock to see tears streaming down his face.

"Wha-what's the matter? Why are you crying?" He kneeled down beside the sofa in front of Ai, his hands hovering over Ai's face ready to wipe the tears away but he was afraid to touch the cyan haired man.

"I don't know why I'm crying." Yes Ai doesn't really know. He doesn't even know he is capable of crying. But  when Ranmaru had said he was leaving Ai was sure he will never come back. It was sad. It was painful.

"You said you'd leave."

"I..." Ranmaru trailed off. Why is Ai acting like this? It makes Ranmaru think that... _'No. That's impossible.'_

"Because I did something I shouldn't have. I'm giving you some space." this time Ranmaru reached out and wiped Ai's tears away.

"Do you regret what you did?" Ai asked. _'Am I not good enough?'_ Is what he really wanted to ask.

"No. I don't regret it." Ranmaru said seriously his voice getting deep and making Ai shiver.

"Then will you do it again?" Ai asked as he looks straight into those mismatched eyes to see surprise reflected in it.

"Huh?!" Ranmaru asked surprisedly. Did he even heard it right?

"Kiss me again."

"Stop kidding me."

"I'm not kidding you. Reiji said that you kiss the people you love. Isn't that right?" Ai explained his expression neutral and making the silver haired rocker to sputter in embarrassment and blush and groan at the mention of Reiji's name.

"What the heck is that man feeding you?!" Ranmaru complained as he scratches the back of his neck and clicks his tongue. His earlier inhibitions and nervousness forgotten.

"Is Reiji not right?" Ai asked. Now he's the one confused.

"I didn't say that." Ranmaru sighed and took the bass guitar still sitting on Ai's lap and walks over to the stand to put it on its place. He walks back to the sofa, sat down beside Ai and pulls the smaller man making Ai sit on his lap.

"Ranmaru!"

"You told me to kiss you. Now sit still." Ranmaru said as he wound his other arm around Ai's waist and his other arm reaching up into Ai's nape to pull him closer.

Ranmaru isn't someone to pass an opportunity being offered.

"Why do you have to be so rough?"

"Stop complaining." Ranmaru whispered when their lips are just breaths away. "Now let me kiss you."

When their lips met the second time around Ai can feel it was much better than the first. He felt like a connection has been made. He feels more alive. His hands encircled themselves over Ranmaru's neck and he burried his fingers into those silver locks.

They pulled apart both panting and with shades of pink dusting their cheeks.

"Ai...." Ai started then he looks at the rocker. "Ai loves Ranmaru." He finishes and is rewarded with Ranmaru's smile.

"Ranmaru loves Ai too."

Ai smiled and Ranmaru pulled him again for another kiss and this time a much deeper kiss. Delving his tongue inside Ai's mouth and tasting every nook and cranny. Getting bolder and demanding with each passing second.

Ai is his to claim. Only his. His love was never unrequited.

Ai felt like he was melting. He whimpers slightly at the onslaught of feelings and he felt goosebumps when he hears Ranmaru groaning so deeply.

They would have continued until forever but then the door bursts open revealing the other occupants of the room.

"RanRan! We're back! Have you-oh? What's this?" It was Jinguji and he smirks coyly at the sight. Masato blushes deeply his throat suddenly getting dry. Never in his life did he imagine he would see their senpais making out.

Ranmaru and Ai pulled away from each other.

"Oh. You're back." Ranmaru stated.

"Okaeri." Ai said his neutral expression back on its place like what they were doing earlier was a normal thing to do.

"We didn't know you and Ai-chan are together RanRan. You should've told us and we would've stayed in some other place to give you privacy." Jinguji teased but is slightly amused when he didn't see the reaction he expected. His rocker senpai just looks annoyed and Ai still have that neutral face. It was hard to imagine that they were eating each others faces moments ago.

Ranmaru sighed and scratches the back of his neck. "This is annoying! I don't want to explain. Tsk. Come on Ai. Let's go to sleep." They both stood up and walk towards the bed.

"Eh? Mikaze-senpai is sleeping here?" Masato asked. "Natsuki and Syo are noisy tonight." Ai explained as he positioned himself on the side where the wall is, Ranmaru lying down next to him near the edge of the bed.

"Noisy?" Masato was confused, Ren pitying the other man decided to tell him the real reason making the blue haired man blush a dark shade of red.

Ren chuckled at the adorable expression but decided to tease the new couple as he sees them settling down. "No funny business RanRan." Jinguji joked. "Oi! Jinguji!" Masato chastised still with a blush on his face.  
Ranmaru just flicks his middle finger onto the other man and closes his eyes. Ai settles beside him and burries himself under the comforter.

Masato getting the cue went to his closet to grab his change of clothes to sleep on. Ren does the same and when Masato is about to enter the bathroom Ren went with him.

"Let's change together Hijirikawa!"

"What?! Why?!"

"Because its faster. I wanted to sleep too."

Masato sighed knowing that he won't win against the other man. Though his face burned when he hears their senpai's comment.

"No funny business Ren!" Ranmaru and Ai shouted at the same time.

"Don't worry! We know how to hold back when there are guests." And with that Ren closed the bathroom door with Masato's embarrassed yell still being heard.

Ai turned to his side looking at Ranmaru who's eyes are close and his other arm tucked behind his head.  
"What's the matter?" Ranmaru asked as he opens his eyes and turns his head sideways to meet cyan colored eyes.

"I was just wondering about what Ren said earlier."

"Hm?"

"Does this mean we're together now and going out with each other?"

"You don't want to?" Suddenly Ranmaru felt dread and nervousness came to him. He'd be damn if Ai said yes.

Ai shook his head. "I want to." He said simply.

"That's good." Ranmaru said simply as he forces himself not to let out a sigh of relief.

"You were nervous of what my answer would be?" Of course Ai being the way he is still notices it.

"Shut up." Ranmaru said with a click of his tongue making Ai chuckle.

"That was the first time I heard you laugh." Ranmaru said with amazement in his voice making Ai startle in realization. Because it is.

"You should do that more often." The rocker said as he removes his hand behind his head to stroke Ai's cheeks. "Only when I'm with you." The younger man replied with a smile.

Ranmaru pulled the smaller man close to him and Ai snuggles onto the rockers chest.

"Ranmaru what do we do when Shining finds out?"

"We'll solve it when it happens."

Ai nodded his head feeling reassured and just before he doze off he murmured something.

"I love you RanRan."

"Love you too, _Love_."

**OWARI**

**OMAKE**

"RanRan!!! Bad news! AiAi is missing!!" Reiji shouted as he burst inside the room without bothering to knock.

"Shut up Reiji! People are still sleeping!" Ranmaru yelled back as he grabs the comforter and hides under it and making the said sleeping people to wake up.

"What's going on?" Masato asked waking up at Ranmaru's yell not knowing what is happening and starts wondering why the other members of  Starish and Reiji are invading their room.

"What's this all about?" Ren asked as he covers a yawn. This commotion is too early for him to participate.

"Ai-chan didn't come back last night. His phone and other things. Were left in our room so we have no ways to contact him. We're worried." Natsuki explained his face fallen at the situation they were facing.

"We tried looking around the dormitories but can't find him. Where could he be?" Otoyo said as he became worried.

"I know his schedule and he was free yesterday and today, so he should just be here coz AiAi doesn't like going out often." Reiji added, his stress piling up coz of his missing bandmate.

Ren chuckled when everyone was done explaining. "Oi Ren! This is no time to be amused and laughing! This is serious matter!" Syo shouted at the said man.

Masato sighed deeming that the  situation isn't an emergency at all.

"What's going on? I heard my name." A soft voice called from behind them and everyone turns around to see the cause of the commotion sitting in the middle of Ranmaru's bed with his cyan colored hair tossled in every way.

"AiAi/Ai-chan/Mikaze-senpai!!!" Everyone shouted at the senpai.

"I SAID SHUT UP!!!" Ranmaru shouted as he sat up too already irritated first thing in the morning.

Everyone became silent but it was too much for Reiji so he decided to voice out what he assume is everyone's thought. "Why is AiAi here? And why are you two sleeping together?"

"Why don't you ask that to his two kouhai." Ranmaru said as he yawn wide.

"RanRan don't yawn without covering your mouth. That's bad manners." Ai chided and the rocker just clicks his tongue.

"Syo and Nat-chan?"

"Keep it down when you know you're not alone. You're not the only one using your room." Ranmaru said simply making Natsuki and Syo to blush so deeply and everyone coming to an understanding why their cyan haired senpai is sleeping in the rockers room.

"Now will you all leave my room?" Ranmaru ordered as he glared at the intruders who got the message and went out. "So mean RanRan." Reiji whined but left nonetheless.

"That was a good way of diverting their attention from you and Ai-chan." Ren commented.

"I didn't divert their attention." Ranmaru said as he stood up. "I'm hungry now. Ai get ready let's have breakfast outside."

Ai got out of the bed also and went to the silver haired rocker who is rummaging his closet for something to wear.

Ranmaru turns around when he felt someone tugging at his sleeves. "Hm? What's the ma---" he was shock dead though when soft lips landed on his in a peck.

He looks down at the smaller man peering up at him and his brain suddenly stopping that he didn't notice Ren's whistle and Masato blushing.

Ai smiled. "See you in a bit." "Ah." Ranmaru replied and Ai went out of the room.

"Ai-chan got you there RanRan. So bold." Ren teased and Ranmaru's answer to him is the slamming of the bathroom door.

In the comfort on being inside the bathroom Ranmaru leaned his back on the door as he puts a hand into his mouth. He knows he's blushing from how hot his face feels.

Shoot. That got him. Ai was so adorable and cute back there. Ranmaru shook his head to get his thoughts straight.

Time to return the favor.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Finally!!! After a millennium it's done!! I can't believe that I wrote it this long!
> 
> EDITED:  
> an angel helpfully pointed out to me about the kanji meaning of Ai's name being "indigo" and not "love". But the pronunciation is the same so when you pronounce "Ai" it can also mean love. So thank you Crystal for that! 
> 
> Still I hope you guys like this one shot!! See you on the next one-shot! 
> 
> ELIE


End file.
